Not Me! Monday

Wow! I haven't blogged in a LONG time! That just means I have a lot of things to blog about that I so did not do! My Monday release that I have missed the last few Monday's. So here it goes:

In the weeks leading up to Christmas Phill did not threaten almost everyday to take away my wedding ring!!! This was not b/c I scratch him with it nearly everyday. It's not like I mean to but it is quite sharp. I did not while helping him pull his t-shirt on ACCIDENTALLY scratch his nipple. He did not scream like a girl and swear that ring was going in the trash!!

The Tuesday before Christmas Phill did not get his wish and I did not have to have my wedding ring cut off:( j/k that was not his wish. I did not have an allergic reaction and wake up on Tuesday morning not able to remove my ring from my finger. Not me, I'm not allergic to anything! I did not dump soap, lotion, cooking oil, rub butter, put my hand in ice water for 1 1/2 hours, or have my hand above my heart for 1 hour to try and get the thing off! I did not try for 3 hours and finally give in to having it cut off once it turned purple. I also did not cry and cry and cry over it while trying to pull it off and then finally relent. Phill also did not make me call Jared, yes "He went to Jared" before I had it cut off to make sure our warranties weren't voided by having another jeweler cut it off in Iowa. Like there was seriously anything I could do had they said yes you are screwed! I then did not have to go ringless during the Christmas holidays exactly one year after Phill proposed to me on Christmas Eve :( My ring is now put back together, looks brand new, and didn't cost us a thing so it's all good!

So we went back to Iowa for the holidays but I had to come back to MN for two days of work on the 29th and 30th. I was all by my lonesome for those two days while Phill stayed back in Iowa. The drive sucked both ways but I did listen to A LOT of Taylor Swift and my new Sex & the City Soundtrack. So I made the trip back safe and sound, BARELY! I so did not almost run into a tree in our front yard! The roads were all clear from the previous nights snow so I thought nothing of it pulling into our driveway. IT WAS ICY! I did not have to crank the wheel with all my might to avoid the tree! I did not cringe at the fact that I narrowly avoided having to call my mom to say "Yeah I made the 350 mile drive to get into an accident in front of my house." It would not have been a fun conversation to have with her, much less my husband. Phill did not almost do the same exact thing this past Friday! No way! He listens to his loving wife and took my warning to heart! He did not leave tire tracks showing all the way up to the tree proving he indeed does take warnings very serious!

While I was back in Minnesota for those two days Phill was at Geek Week. A week when he gets together with his friends to play video games all week! Loads of fun I know. No, he could seriously be sitting in a bar somewhere instead so I would much rather have him there. They get loud, don't shower as much as they should, and avoid the outside world as much as possible. I did not name it Geek Week because that would just be mean! It used to be at our house in Minneapolis but they moved it to Des Moines this year. I do not think they moved it to Des Moines b/c of how much FUN I was with them last year! hehe that is HI-larious! I did not get frustrated a lot when they were here last year while they took up my whole living room, were super loud, and burnt my trash can lid! In all seriousness I really do love those guys but I wasn't a super nice person to them last year. 6 guys and one girl in one small apartment just doesn't mix. I'm super glad they moved it to a guys only corridors this year.
Burnt trash can lid-you know how most ovens have the vent thing on the back right burner on the stove top. Well his cousin Luke obviously didn't know this. They were making pizzas and taking out trash. The trash was right by the stove. They put the trash lid on top of the stove. They smelled burning plastic and SURPRISE, a hole through the lid! Luke did make it up to us for our wedding present though. He got us a stainless steel trash can!

So I'm by myself for those two days which I hate. I am not a scaredy cat! I did not check underneath the beds, in the closets, behind the curtains, in the showers, etc. before falling asleep for the boogie mean or bats. Yes, I'm terrified of bats! We used to have them in our house when I was little from our chimney. Ick! But I'm over that and did not search everywhere and sleep with the hallway light on. No way, I am a grown woman and can handle being alone. On Tuesday night I had to bowl so I had to hurry home and eat dinner beforehand. I didn't have any cold pop so I stuck one in the freezer to cool it down fast before bowling. I so did not forget about the pop in the freezer! I go bowl, come home, and go to bed at 11pm. 12am rolls around and BAM! I did not think someone was in the house and started sweating profusely. I did not contemplate grabbing my phone and calling 911 before realizing what the noise actually was. I did not just clean up the huge mess in my freezer this past week!

I did not just get my Christmas tree down on Saturday night at midnight. I also did not take down all the outdoor patio decor at midnight in the frigid cold instead of doing it during the day like I was supposed to. I did not nap instead.

In an attempt to get my kitchen decorated this weekend with my grape/wine theme, I did not go to Miachel's and spend $32 on fake grapes! Phill did not question my sanity. The kitchen looks cute though!

That's it for me! I did not do a lot of things these past few weeks. Leave me some comments with what you so didn't do this past week. I guarantee you it will make you laugh and feel better. Have a great week!