Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog My Charming Kids to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I know I'm doing this really late tonight but I had the day off for MLK day today so I have not been just sitting around all day! Aww, how I love 3 day weekends. It's a time to catch up on housework, relaxing, thank-you cards, laundry, etc. I so did not just sit around all weekend and think about getting these things done. I do not have piles of laundry sitting around, dirty bathrooms, and dusty shelves. I was productive and accomplished :p

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Tonight, I did not finally just finalize what I want to order for wedding photos. No way, I only got married 3 months ago and these jewels are already on my walls.

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This weekend I have not been a couch potato and watched WAY too many movies and TV. I did not watch 27 Dresses, The Story of Us-great movie by the way, Friends, Sex & The City, The Bachelor, Grey's, Private Practice, What Color is Love?-Lifetime movie, and much more I can't even remember. And right now I am not contemplating putting yet another movie in before bed. Oh and I did not replay the part on Private Practice where Cooper grabs Charlotte from her airplane seat to hold her like 7 times and it soooo did not make me cry everytime.

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I so did not break my diet TWICE this weekend. I did not eat at Pizza Hut on Friday and Snuffy's Malt Shop on Saturday. My body did not rebel with horrible stomach cramps all day Saturday from all the fatty grease.

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My diet has been successful thus far by not shrinking my boobs first! No way, every diet listens to you and starts immediately by removing belly fat!

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On Sunday while going to get my ring fixed yet again, no I did not bend it, I did not walk toward Maurices, go in, and proceed to spend $65. (Hey I had a gift card with $20 on it so technically!) There is so a force field around that store. You go within 2 feet and you don't even have to move your feet anymore. The force field guides you in and pulls out your credit card. SERIOUSLY!

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Lastly, something I really did do and have to brag about. On Sunday morning we went bowling for the early bird special. On the last game we bowled I so DID beat Phill. He had a 165 and I had a 180. GO ME!

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Nighty night blog world. I am not going to stay up and watch more TV to rot my brain.

No Legs

Oh how I love my comical husband! Lastnight he had me rolling. We bowl every Tuesday night in a league and he always wears shorts, no matter what the degree is outside. He says he'll step on jeans or he sweats. Lastnight it was like -10 or something. So since it was so cold you can imagine all the looks and crap he got lastnight for wearing them. Anyways, he always drops me off at the door like the sweet husband he is, parks, and brings all of our bowling equipment inside. Don't feel too bad, I have one bowling ball compared to his 5! So lastnight he parked and an older lady parked next to him. She was walking in behind him and said "Brrr aren't your legs freezing?" Phill says "No, their fake." He said the ladies eyes bugged out and she stopped in her tracks. He then told her he was kidding and she laughed and laughed. I about busted a gut when he told me this!!

The Bachelor

So, what do you think of my new background? I was late taking my Christmas tree down so of course I would be late changing my blog.

So is anyone else obsessed with the Bachelor/Bachelorette TV shows like I am? I am an addict! Hi, my name is Calie and I'm a bacheloraholic. Not sure why either. Only one couple has ever made it in like 11 seasons! And I am spoiler QUEEN! I love looking for spoilers, especially with this show. Fans of Reality TV is an awesome website for sleuthers. The people that post on these things are amazing! They post screencaps, search the internet everywhere for clues, watch and re-watch the show in slow motion, zoom in at extremely high levels, etc. to find out the winner for all of us regular joe's. So their prediction of Jason-the bachelor's-pick is.......leave now if you don't want to know........




Melissa!

I can't help but go to this website all day everyday while the show runs. I also spoil myself with Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice. I always know what's coming b/c I can't help myself. I seriously need Spoilers Anonymous.

Not Me! Monday

Wow! I haven't blogged in a LONG time! That just means I have a lot of things to blog about that I so did not do! My Monday release that I have missed the last few Monday's. So here it goes:

In the weeks leading up to Christmas Phill did not threaten almost everyday to take away my wedding ring!!! This was not b/c I scratch him with it nearly everyday. It's not like I mean to but it is quite sharp. I did not while helping him pull his t-shirt on ACCIDENTALLY scratch his nipple. He did not scream like a girl and swear that ring was going in the trash!!

The Tuesday before Christmas Phill did not get his wish and I did not have to have my wedding ring cut off:( j/k that was not his wish. I did not have an allergic reaction and wake up on Tuesday morning not able to remove my ring from my finger. Not me, I'm not allergic to anything! I did not dump soap, lotion, cooking oil, rub butter, put my hand in ice water for 1 1/2 hours, or have my hand above my heart for 1 hour to try and get the thing off! I did not try for 3 hours and finally give in to having it cut off once it turned purple. I also did not cry and cry and cry over it while trying to pull it off and then finally relent. Phill also did not make me call Jared, yes "He went to Jared" before I had it cut off to make sure our warranties weren't voided by having another jeweler cut it off in Iowa. Like there was seriously anything I could do had they said yes you are screwed! I then did not have to go ringless during the Christmas holidays exactly one year after Phill proposed to me on Christmas Eve :( My ring is now put back together, looks brand new, and didn't cost us a thing so it's all good!

So we went back to Iowa for the holidays but I had to come back to MN for two days of work on the 29th and 30th. I was all by my lonesome for those two days while Phill stayed back in Iowa. The drive sucked both ways but I did listen to A LOT of Taylor Swift and my new Sex & the City Soundtrack. So I made the trip back safe and sound, BARELY! I so did not almost run into a tree in our front yard! The roads were all clear from the previous nights snow so I thought nothing of it pulling into our driveway. IT WAS ICY! I did not have to crank the wheel with all my might to avoid the tree! I did not cringe at the fact that I narrowly avoided having to call my mom to say "Yeah I made the 350 mile drive to get into an accident in front of my house." It would not have been a fun conversation to have with her, much less my husband. Phill did not almost do the same exact thing this past Friday! No way! He listens to his loving wife and took my warning to heart! He did not leave tire tracks showing all the way up to the tree proving he indeed does take warnings very serious!

While I was back in Minnesota for those two days Phill was at Geek Week. A week when he gets together with his friends to play video games all week! Loads of fun I know. No, he could seriously be sitting in a bar somewhere instead so I would much rather have him there. They get loud, don't shower as much as they should, and avoid the outside world as much as possible. I did not name it Geek Week because that would just be mean! It used to be at our house in Minneapolis but they moved it to Des Moines this year. I do not think they moved it to Des Moines b/c of how much FUN I was with them last year! hehe that is HI-larious! I did not get frustrated a lot when they were here last year while they took up my whole living room, were super loud, and burnt my trash can lid! In all seriousness I really do love those guys but I wasn't a super nice person to them last year. 6 guys and one girl in one small apartment just doesn't mix. I'm super glad they moved it to a guys only corridors this year.
Burnt trash can lid-you know how most ovens have the vent thing on the back right burner on the stove top. Well his cousin Luke obviously didn't know this. They were making pizzas and taking out trash. The trash was right by the stove. They put the trash lid on top of the stove. They smelled burning plastic and SURPRISE, a hole through the lid! Luke did make it up to us for our wedding present though. He got us a stainless steel trash can!

So I'm by myself for those two days which I hate. I am not a scaredy cat! I did not check underneath the beds, in the closets, behind the curtains, in the showers, etc. before falling asleep for the boogie mean or bats. Yes, I'm terrified of bats! We used to have them in our house when I was little from our chimney. Ick! But I'm over that and did not search everywhere and sleep with the hallway light on. No way, I am a grown woman and can handle being alone. On Tuesday night I had to bowl so I had to hurry home and eat dinner beforehand. I didn't have any cold pop so I stuck one in the freezer to cool it down fast before bowling. I so did not forget about the pop in the freezer! I go bowl, come home, and go to bed at 11pm. 12am rolls around and BAM! I did not think someone was in the house and started sweating profusely. I did not contemplate grabbing my phone and calling 911 before realizing what the noise actually was. I did not just clean up the huge mess in my freezer this past week!

I did not just get my Christmas tree down on Saturday night at midnight. I also did not take down all the outdoor patio decor at midnight in the frigid cold instead of doing it during the day like I was supposed to. I did not nap instead.

In an attempt to get my kitchen decorated this weekend with my grape/wine theme, I did not go to Miachel's and spend $32 on fake grapes! Phill did not question my sanity. The kitchen looks cute though!

That's it for me! I did not do a lot of things these past few weeks. Leave me some comments with what you so didn't do this past week. I guarantee you it will make you laugh and feel better. Have a great week!

Not me! Monday

Ah, another week and I remembered to do Not me! Monday!! YIPPEE! It is frigid outside and I wish I was at home sleeping in my warm bed right now, but to pass the time I will blog for your entertainment :) Let's see, what did I not do this week?

I did not spill coffee on myself at work twice in one week. The first was not at a staff meeting in front of all my colleagues on a very white shirt! The second was again not on a white shirt that did not come out with all the water I threw on it. I did not sit at the front desk all day with a huge coffee stain on my shirt! I am not a clutz!

I did not watch lifetime movies ALL DAY yesterday! I also did not coax Phill into sitting through one as well :) He did not make wise cracks through the whole thing.

Saturday, whilst Christmas shopping for Phill, I did not get lost. The directions were simple and I'd been there before!! I did not end up on the complete wrong side of town. And after 45 minutes of searching I did not get to my destination only to find they were CLOSED!! Anyone care to buy me a GPS thing for Christmas? Anyone?!? I have an awesome sense of direction ;) Ever seen the episode of Friends when they are in London and Joey gets into his map?!? Yeah, I made my friend Jenny do that while I was out in New York visiting her. It was pretty comical if you had been there!
Truth be told, I am a lot like Joey and his map. If I don't know where I am I have to remember exactly which way I turned to get back out b/c I do not know my Never Eat Shredded Wheat! I have not gotten lost in Mount Pleasant, IA in the circle subdivisions!

Yesterday, I did not stay in my pj's all day! Then on Phill and I's 8:45pm run to Target when they close at 9pm I did not make him wait b/c I needed to put a dab of makeup on to cover my nasty Aunt Flo zits. Then at the last minute I did not run back into the apartment to throw a bra on for fear of us getting into an accident and worrying about what the rescue guys would think! Target is only A BLOCK AWAY! Nope, not me!

I did not get up at 3:30am this morning and sit on the couch afraid of the dark for a half hour by myself. It was so windy lastnight that the power went out. I woke up to Phill snoring at 3:30am. I have a big box fan I use to drown out his snores and when the power went off he woke me. I did not get up to investigate, grab flashlights, and go outside in the hall to make sure it wasn't just our apartment. I did not worry that I didn't pay the electric bill!

Okay that's all I've got for today! PLEASE leave me some comments. I only got 1 from last Monday :( I promise to leave you some comments if you leave me some!

A Hilarious Mistype

So I'm talking to my mamasita on msn mere minutes ago about a new mattress and bed for her house. She only has two twin beds upstairs so when Phill & I come back to Iowa and stay at her house we push the two twin mattresses together on the floor and make do. It's not very comfortable at all! So anyways she is buying us a full sized bed so we can stay together more often when we come home. I'm telling her to not get too expensive of one since we aren't there all that often. Here's how it went down:

Carol says:
found mattress today so were going to tal;k about that

Calie says:
make it cheap lay

Carol says:
Calie your not a cheap lay

Calie says:
hehe

Calie says:
didn't mean to put that

Calie says:
your a silly panties

Carol says:
Wasn't that funny

Calie says:
yes

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My silly panties Mamasita said that! Love her lots!

Not Me Monday

2nd edition of Not Me Monday. I missed it last week and I was very sad on Tuesday. I considered doing one on Tuesday and pretending it was Monday. Well here it goes!

Last week, I did not buy a $125 Guess purse from www.Zappos.com. I would never spend that much money on a bag, NEVER! I did not excuse the huge purchase by telling Phill that I returned a pair of $83 shoes to them so I had to use the store credit! This was not a lie, I could not have gotten the money put back on my credit card to spend on non frivolous things. I did not avoid telling him how much it was for days.

Lastnight at Applebee's I did not order their Chicken Broccoli Pasta Alfredo without the broccoli. No, only REALLY picky people do that sort of thing! I have never been that way. Nope, not me.

Yesterday while making banana chocolate chip muffins I did not use really old brown sugar instead of going out to buy new fresh sugar. It wasn't that hard, it just wouldn't move at all when you shook the canister. I didn't have to hammer it out with a knife to make the 1/2 cup I needed. I also did not use this same hard brown sugar to make lil' cheddar meatballs on Friday night and neglect to get new stuff at the store on Saturday while grocery shopping. Not, not me, because I of course make grocery shopping lists the night before ;) Also, while making the muffins I did not steal baking soda out of our refrigerator fresh baking soda pack. I did not have to cut through the mesh to get at this baking soda to keep myself from having to make a trip to the store. I do not make do with just about anything!

Saturday night I did not start putting up the Christmas tree decorations and decor at 10:30pm. No way, I did not procrastinate all day and not finish until 1am.

Yesterday, Phill and I did not put up Christmas lights outside while it was pouring down snow. No way, we are smarter than that and decided to wait until a warmer day. I also did not spend 40 minutes outside trying to get the icicle light to twinkle! 4 strands and I got 3 to work!

Phill and I have not had to run to Target about 5 times this weekend because we forgot things for our holiday decorating. Our lights weren't long enough, we didn't have a splitter to connect more than one string of lights to an outlet, etc. etc.

Lastly, I am not addicted to Welch's Strawberry pop which is so terribly bad for you with all its sugars and artificial flavors! I do not ask Phill to pick me one up at the gas station every other night on his way home from work and get one EVERY time I go to Target. No way, I have way more self control than that!

That's all today! Leave me some comments about your not me's of the last week. I love seeing and reading comments and I don't get very many:( I do not check them quite often;)